Dont put off telling the child they are adopted.

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post 02-Июн-2019 16:53


Hi all,

I just want to tell the story of my aunt who adopted a beautiful, brand new baby girl some time in 2002.

My aunt had problems relating to fertility and decided to adopt, here in South Africa adoption is not an overly costly process, any middle to upper middle class family can adopt as long as they meet the requirements and have a stable and good income to be able to take care of the child.

Anyways long story short the social workers always told my aunt to tell the child by age of 8 maximum that they are adopted and yeah my aunt did not do that. In fact my aunt has not told the child till this day the poor girl is 17 now and we as the family are 100% sure that she somehow found out about her adoption because for the past 2 years she has been acting out, dropped out of school, ran away from home more than 4 times, is possibly on drugs and has started smoking cigarettes.

My aunt is in denial and still does not want to sit down and be honest with her adopted daughter, basically the whole situation is now a hot mess and I personally think if she had been honest with the child from the start most of this would not be happening also if you are emotionally UNFIT TO RAISE A CHILD maybe don't adopt Im not perfect but Im sure honesty would have helped in this case. I get the feeling she is acting out because she is confused and feels like she doesn't belong.

Oh and because my aunt was raising this child while withholding a secret from her she made sure we, the rest of the family never really got to bond with her I think its cause she had a fear of one of us maybe spilling the beans or something. Awgh its a mess and in the end the child is screwed... my point is don't make the same mistake as my aunt the longer you put it off the harder it gets to tell them now the child's become my aunts worst nightmare last we spoke the child had run off after stealing her cell phone.

Read more: http://www.city-data.com/forum/adoption/3052021-don...ml#ixzz5ph9VL9hC

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